today I am pregnant

I must keep telling myself that over and over again.

I continue to have regular spotting.  I called the RE office as soon as it opened this morning.  This is how the conversation went ...

me: "This is Mary ***.  I had an IUI on July 3rd and I am calling to let you know that I am getting positive tests at home."
front desk lady: "Yay!! That is so exciting."
me: "But I have also been spotting since Saturday."
front desk lady: "Oh."

I quickly put a damper on that conversation.  I am such a Debbie Downer.  I immediately left work to go to the office to get some b/w done (to test both my hcg level and my progesterone level).

I was originally planning to work today but I only managed to get a half-day in at the office.  I simply did not want to be in that office with the nurse called back with my results this afternoon.

My hcg level (15dpiui) is 66.  This means I am pregnant.  There is so much variation in hcg levels that I have been told to not focus on the actual number itself.  Instead, it is important that the hcg level doubles approximately every 48 hours.  Therefore, I am scheduled to go back to the RE office for more b/w on Wednesday. My progesterone level also came back at 45.6.  This is actually a really good number.  And does not give us an explanation for the spotting.  However, the RE has still requested that I start on progesterone supplements to keep that number as high as possible.  I believe that any follicle that releases an egg continues to produce progesterone in order to continue a pregnancy.  I believe my progesterone level may be a bit high because I potentially had two follicles that released eggs.  Then again I could have that all wrong.

All I know is I am terrified of losing this pregnancy.  I know I must believe that all will be okay in the end.  But it is difficult to do that.  I have not let myself get even the least bit excited because I have so many fears at the moment.  I am hoping with every bone in my body that things continue to go just fine.

Mary