One would think that I would be better at waiting this time around. Not true. I actually think I have more anxiety this time. I also think I have lower expectations. I am such a pessimist. I really need to work on finding a positive attitude. Do you think they sell that at Walmart? I think I keep the negative thoughts around because it makes the fall a bit softer if things don't work out in the end. But, if I am pregnant, then I believe the negative attitude is a very bad thing. I just can't seem to win! I guess my point is ... I am working on the whole attitude thing! I think Kara might slap me upside the face if she has to hear me say "I just know this did not work" one more time.
This time around I have had ZERO symptoms! Nada. None. Null. Void. I guess this is a good thing and a bad thing. I would assume that I would have had some symptoms from the trigger shot. Nope. I mean last time I felt a million different twinges and I had to deal with nausea for several days. This time I can't even make-up a symptom in my head. There is nothing. This supports my theory that it is hard to remain positive when you feel absolutely nothing. Shouldn't I feel something? Even if it is just a lousy side effect from the trigger shot. Then again ... I am only 4dpiui. Who knows?
I am also debating back and forth about testing out my trigger shot this time around. I did that the last time and it made me an emotional wreck. It sucks to stare at a stark white test. No fun. I'm technically not suppose to test until 14dpiui. However, if the IUI did not work, then I will actually start spotting before I even reach 14dpiui. So, if I follow the guidelines of the doctor, I have a strong possibility of not even getting to do a pregnancy test. That's not fun either. I should get to do at least one pregnancy test a month. I haven't gotten to pee on a stick since February. I just need to pee on something!!
Mary
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