good-bye March and hello April

In March 2011 ... I was forced to take a TTC break.  I turned 30.  I lost my Nana (grandmother).

Needless to say I was ready to say good-bye to March 2011.

I'm not sure where this post is going but I feel as if I need to get some of my thoughts out of my head.

I watched my grandmother die on March 25, 2011 at 1:24pm.

My grandmother was an extraordinary woman.  There are no words that can properly memorialize her life.

The night before my grandmother died I was blessed to have been able to spend the night with my mother as we kept vigil next to my grandmother.  We spent the entire night, in between a few cat naps, telling stories about my life experiences with my grandmother.  It did not take long during that night before I realized that many of my memories from my childhood revolve around my Nana and Papa.  They taught me how to play poker.  We always gambled when we played poker.  We would steal the pennies from the "Holland America" cruise line tin that was stored in the bottom drawer of the green cabinet in the living room.  I knew what a "three of a kind" was before I knew my multiplication tables.  My favorite meal that my grandmother would cook me was Stouffer's frozen macaroni and cheese with canned salmon.  I was a weird child.  We would have root beer floats for dessert.  I only ever ate pork chops at my grandparent's house.  My grandparent's loved Graeter's ice cream.  Needless to say my grandfather was thrilled when I got a job at Graeter's in college.  We would spend Christmas in Port Charlotte, FL.  I got to plant a pineapple plant in Florida.  I named the pineapple plant "pine-dog".  We would go out to the orange tree in the morning and pick our oranges for the orange juice my grandmother would make for breakfast.  We would spend our days swimming at Pauline and Richard's house.  My grandmother would scratch my back when I was stressed or upset.  My grandmother refused to say "good-bye" it was instead "see you soon".  My grandmother always said "I love you".  There are so many memories.  There are too many memories to write on these pages. 

My grandmother suffered for many years.  But my grandmother also fought hard.  She was confined to a wheelchair for over ten years.  Her dignity stripped away.  But the smile never left her face.  She refused to give up the fight.  Even in the end.  My grandmother fought for almost two weeks.  This was two weeks of essentially no food or water.  She fought until the very end.  The moment that my grandmother took her last breath will be a moment that I will never forget.  I may have lost my grandmother.  But I gained an angel in heaven.  I truly believe that.

I only hope that my children are blessed to have the same sort of relationship with their grandmothers.

It is now April.  We will begin cycle #3 this coming week.  I am ready.  I must believe.

Mary