music

There is a Jason Mraz song called "I Won't Give Up".  This song has come to mean a lot to me over the last month.  I first heard the song as I was driving to the NICU one night and as I sat in my car all the emotions I had been burying for months and months and months came spilling out through my tears.  The song gave me so much strength in a time where I felt the world was spiraling out of control.  I had zero control over the situation.  The song also got me through long evenings with Jakob over the last few weeks.  The entire journey from the time Kara and I decided we wanted to grow our family until this very moment has been nothing like I ever imagined it to be in my dreams.  And it has taken me to this point to understand that even though this journey has been nothing as I expected it to be it has actually been the journey destined by a power higher than myself.  I never knew it was possible to love someone as much as I love Jakob and Alex.  It is a feeling I would not trade for the world.  It is also terrifying at the same time.  How do parents ever let their children venture into the unknown?

So I want to promise my boys that I will do everything in my power to give you the best life possible.  Your mother and I love you with our entire being and we promise to guide you through this world with as few bumps as possible.  We will make mistakes.  But we hope those mistakes go unnoticed by you guys.  We love you both unconditionally and we cannot wait to see what wonderful men you will become down the road.

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not
And who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Still looking up.

I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

Mary