it takes a village ...

But what if you don't have a village?

It can become quite overwhelming to take care of newborn twins.  Especially newborn twins who are not even suppose to be here at the moment.  Our lives are a blur of diapers, bottles, breast milk, pumping, crying, and outfit changes.  And that doesn't even begin to touch the laundry, dirty dishes, cleaning, and animal responsibilities.  So why do people look at me like I have two heads when I tell them I only get between two and three hours of sleep a night?  Kara and I come from a very small family.  And even more so we do not have a large circle of friends as we are both fairly introverted and preferred to spend time with each other than a lot of friends prior to having children.  No worries ... we have already made a resolution to find friends as the boys get older as we know we will need a circle of people with which to surround the boys.  But it has made it difficult as the only outside help we have at the moment is my mother.  And I am forever grateful for all the help my mother has given us the last few weeks.  I guess there is really no reason behind this post except to vent a bit.  I am totally in love with our boys.  The boys and Kara are my entire world.  But I am exhausted.  And Kara is exhausted.  And there are times I want to stick my head out our front door and just yell for some help.  But I can't do that.  We are alone in this grand adventure.  I know we will figure it out.  Kara and I always figure it out.  But at times it can be a bit overwhelming.  This is especially true in the middle of the night when I am trying to comfort a fussy baby.  I'm also just getting nervous to go back to work in two weeks and realize that what little time I am getting to nap now during the day is going to be completely gone.  Can a person really function on two or three hours of sleep a day??  I guess we will find out!!!

We are also learning that many people want to offer advice during this period of time.  We are always grateful for suggestions but at times all the suggestions can be a bit overwhelming.  I thought it might be nice to document the best pieces of advice I have received over the last month.  These statements are the ones I always have running through my head.  Most of the other advice I have thrown out the door ...

"Just remember that a baby has never died from crying." (from a close friend / coworker / mom of twins)

"If you cannot get a baby to stop crying and you start to panic ... just talk to the baby.  Talk about anything and everything.  The baby has no idea what you are talking about but I guarantee it will help to calm you down." (NICU nurse)

"If you don't know what to do in a situation just do to the baby exactly what you would want done to yourself.  So if you are giving a baby a bath remember to wash their head before you wash their bottom.  Would you wash your face with the same washcloth that you wiped your behind?"  (NICU nurse)  

Off to spend more time with the boys.  Thanks for letting me vent a bit ...

Mary