"no reason this shouldn't work"

Those were the words from my RE right before the IUI yesterday.  My response.  You are telling me!

I have been inseminated.  Again.  We once again had stellar numbers from Captain America.  The total motile sperm count was 22 million.  This is a different way of looking at the quality of our vial.  Typically, the only numbers the RE gives me before the IUI are the total sperm count and motility percentage after the vial has been thawed.  However, this time I was given the total motile sperm count which takes into consideration total sperm count, motility percentage, and morphology (aka the shape of the sperm) to give an overall number of sperm that have a chance of fertilizing the egg.  I believe the RE wants at least a total motile sperm count of 10 million.  So Captain America exceeded those numbers.  It only takes one!

There was nothing out of the usual with this IUI.  However, I had my good luck charm with me this time ... the lovely Kara.  I was really glad that she could be there with me.  Though I think she was a bit confused as to what she should be doing during the actual IUI.  She refused to make eye contact with me because she was afraid that she would bust out laughing.  I tend to make funny faces all the time.  And I am definitely more likely to make faces when it appears from my end of the table that the RE is mining for gold down in my nether regions as opposed to doing an IUI.  So instead each time I glanced over I would catch her looking at the ceiling.  It was cute.  It was just nice to have her in the room with me while I did the post insemination relaxation.  It was nice to have someone to talk to.  Plus, it would be great if we could tell our child one day that we were both there at the moment he or she was conceived (give or take a few hours!).  

The weekend ended up being somewhat relaxing for the both of us.  I think I will have fond memories of the weekend if I end up pregnant this cycle.  If things do not work out this cycle, then I will probably look back and regret the craziness of the weekend.  I called this entire weekend a big old clusterfu*k.  However, while the weekend may have not been the most relaxing, it was just nice to get away for a bit.  We spent some quiet time together and we also go to sit by the pool and enjoy the sunshine.

The more this process goes on the more it becomes a part of my day to day routine.  Don't get me wrong.  I was still a nervous wreck for the actual IUI but I now find myself at moments actually forgetting that I am in the dreaded 2ww.  I actually woke up this morning and totally forgot for a few minutes that we had even done the IUI.  And that was nice.  I also find myself able to dive into other tasks without as many "mental" distractions.  But I am also nervous.  I am prepared for it to not work again.  But I'm not sure how I will handle the emotions this time.  I think it will be hard.  The letdown definitely does not get easier with time.  But ... I cannot think about that at the moment.  I must believe that in two weeks I will be staring at a positive pregnancy test.  A girl can dream ... right??

Mary