cycle # 5

And so it begins again.  I had my baseline u/s today.  And all is good.  No cysts!!  We have been given the green light to cycle again this month.  And I am actually hopeful this month.  I feel super relaxed.  I think it helps that no one knows that we are cycling this month.  We have decided to keep it a secret and I cannot tell you how much pressure that takes off of my shoulders.  I do have two very close friends that know we are trying again this month but that’s only because they are my biggest support system.  I need to complain to someone and sometimes I feel like Kara gets the brunt of it.  So I try to spread the “love” around a bit.  Plus they always know what to say to me at just the right times.  The appointment today was straightforward.  I’m starting to feel like a regular at the office and let me just mention that I do not like this at all.  They should not know my name when I walk in the front door.  Not cool.  At the same time I feel as if I just glide through the appointments without any effort.  There really is not a whole lot of conversation that needs to take place any longer.  I know the drill.  My motto has become “wham, bam, thank you m’am”.  I don’t even know why I bother showering before I go to these appointments.  I have no one to impress.  That is for sure!  The only downside to the appointment today was the stinking traffic.  I was not impressed with having to find alternate routes to get to my appointment on time.  I do not need the stress.  So anyhow the process will remain the same this month.  I will again be only taking 25mg of clomid this month.  That dosage seemed to give me two nice mature follicles which is exactly what I would like to have each time we try.  If the stars aligned just perfectly I know that Kara and I could definitely be able to handle twins but we would struggle with more than two babies.  Plus I am of a small stature (okay I’m super short and only 5’0” on a very good day) to begin with so we really would not want the extra pressure of multiples being put on my body.  I know our chances are slim for even twins but we just don’t want to take the chance with more than two mature follicles.  Even though in the back of my mind I keep thinking we didn’t even manage to get pregnant when I did have four follicles.  But I am pushing those thoughts out of my mind this month.  It is only happy thoughts from this point forward. 

Mary