38w5d

Can you believe it?

We are at t-minus 72 hours until our scheduled induction.  I am in complete shock that I did not go into labor on my own.  And slightly disappointed ...

There are so many feelings at the moment.  The anxiety is extremely high.  I am anxious about the induction process in general.  I worried that something will be wrong and baby boy will still have to go to the NICU.  I'm worried about my ability to effectively manage the pain that tends to be increased with the induction of labor.  I'm worried about being able to avoid a c-section.  I'm worried about Jakob and Alex.  We can tell them a bazillion times that their baby brother will be coming home this week but I know they don't really "grasp" it.  I worry about our ability to adapt to our new life.  I worry about sleepless newborn nights.  I worry about breastfeeding.  I worry about putting too much stress on Kara.  I worry about Kara's overall health.  I worry about my ability to heal quickly so that I can finally go back to being a good Mama to Jakob and Alex (and of course baby boy).  I worry about returning to work in only 6 or 8 short weeks.  I have worked tirelessly for months to get a team member trained on my day to day responsibilities but I worry so much about her ability to get the job done.  So  many worries... No wonder I don't sleep much at night.

I have my final NST test at the hospital today (38w5d) and then I have my final OB appointment tomorrow (38w6d) and then our induction is currently scheduled for 8am ET on July 8th (39w1d).  The induction time could get moved up by several hours if a spot becomes available at the hospital.  

So here we go...

Mary