You are officially a toddler! Remember this little boy?
I think if I had to choose one word to describe you it would be joyful. Your laughter is contagious! It is a laugh that comes from deep within your little body. It's a full on belly laugh. And I think you are so joyful because you had a rough beginning in this world. I've never ever been so scared my little boy. There were nights where I thought that maybe God had gotten it all wrong and perhaps you were meant to have another Mama. I just didn't think I could do it. I was so afraid that I was going to make some terrible mistake. I was so afraid that I was going to fail you. You would look at me with those big blue eyes and there was nothing I could do to calm you down. I felt like I was failing you. But then one moment the world stopped spinning so fast. I'm not sure of the exact moment. I don't even remember how old you were at the time. But there was a moment after you we had been crying for a long time where you grabbed on to my shirt. And you would not let go. There was no ripping your hand away from my body. And then I realized that you really did need me just as much as I needed you. And that maybe, despite all my flaws, I was doing a good job. And that no matter what we would get through these rough days. And we did get through them. And from all the struggles emerged the happiest little boy in the world.
And today there is not an adventure that you will turn down. You are taking your first steps. And you are so proud of yourself. You can confidently walk about 5 steps before it all gets to be too much and you take a little breather. But no matter how hard you fall down you pop right back up to try it again. You really like to grab a walker toy and chase your brother (or the dogs) around the living room. And you usually do it all while giggling to yourself. You are learning to share your toys with your brother too. But for some reason you are a bit possessive of the book collection. Your favorite thing to do each morning is hightail it over to the bookshelf and pull down each and every book. And you do not care what is in the way of this task. This even means your brother who has gotten whacked on the head on more than one occasion. I love to watch you guys in the morning sit on the floor and "read" to each other. You are also big on "sharing" your toys (and already chewed food) with us these days. As soon as we sit on the floor in the playroom you will share with us. But just as much as you love a good adventure you are also very leery of any new people in your life. And I can relate Jakob. I held tight to your Grandfather's leg most of my toddler years. Just know that I will be by your side as much as possible. But even more than that I will teach you that the world is not as scary as it might seem at times. There are a lot of good people in your life that love you to the moon and back. I will also always remind you that you are a very intelligent little boy and it is okay to make mistakes. We will love you unconditionally.
You are a champion sleeper! And that has not always been the case. We had many sleepless nights in our house a year ago. There were some nights where the only place you would sleep was on Mommy's tummy. Does this look familiar?
But you can sleep now! Although you can get a bit grumpy when you are tired at night. You will stand in your crib and just cry and cry with a look that means, "Get out of the room. NOW!" And you will usually sleep through the night with no problems. I think you have nightmare every couple of months that really seem to scare you. And I'm going to be honest. I don't always get upset when I hear you crying in the middle of the night. Why? Because you are my little snuggle bug. And when you are upset you will just bury your little body tight against me. And I treasure those moments so much. Because it's a rarity these days. For one reason you are a toddler who never wants to sit still. And for the other reason you have a twin brother who also requires my attention. But it is those nights when it is just the two of us that I try to take a minute to remember the moment.
Did I mention that you like to eat? I think you like to feed the dogs just as much as you like to feed yourself. You are still a fan of anything (well almost anything) that comes in the pureed form. I'm starting to panic that you will be eating your vegetable pureed for your entire life. But we are slowly working on introducing more finger foods to you. You are a bit more adventurous than your brother when it comes to trying new foods. And each time that we start a meal you will close your eyes tight and shake your head no as I bring the spoon to your mouth. You automatically think I am feeding you the most disgusting food on the planet. So I always have to put a little taste on your lips. And only then when you realize it is yummy will you open your mouth up. And if I am moving too slow during feeding time you tend to let me know. You are also drinking whole milk these days. You still drink from a bottle but I promise you will learn to drink from a cup before you learn how to drive a car. And you drink your bottle like a big boy these days. And even better is when you sit up after you finish your bottle and you reach up and hand it to me. I always imagine you saying, "Thank You Mama. It was very yummy."
Here you are a "master" of the sippy cup. (I promise we are working on it.)
I am so excited for the year to come. We are going to have so much fun together. And I am excited to continue alongside you on this journey. Yes. There are going to be many bumps on our journey together but I promise that we will work through those bumps together. I am so thankful that God put you in my life Mr. Jakob. I know now that he got it right! You were always meant to be my little boy.
I love you. Mama.
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