always expect the unexpected

I had high hopes for today.  I still have high hopes but I also have some extra nervous energy as well.  

I went in today for a monitoring appointment (on cd 11).  Of course the nurse that scheduled my appointment forgot to actually put the appointment in the computer so they were not expecting me.  Oops.  This is why I always bring the actual appointment cards with me!  The nurse who made the mistake was actually there today and felt horrible about the mistake.  However, because I had to be seen today, they were able to get me in right away to see another RE.  This was let down #1.  I really feel comfortable with the RE that I have been seeing through this process so I was sort of caught off guard with the change in doctors.

The good news.  I really ended up liking this other RE.  The u/s showed that I have four mature follicles (two follicles on each side).  The follicles are measuring at 18mm, 18mm, 19mm, and 20mm.  This is a somewhat higher number of mature follicles and as a result I am at an increased risk for multiples.  I was a bit shocked that the decision about whether to continue with this cycle was left up to me.  I think this is because four follicles is still considered to be a "borderline" number.  And of course yesterday I told Kara that there was no reason to come to the appointment with me.  I was instantly regretting that decision.  I'm a numbers person (duh!) so I immediately asked the RE to provide me with the statistics.  It comes down to the fact that statistically I have a 5% chance of triplets and a less than 1% chance of quads.  There are also several other factors involved including my age (I am 29.  Not young but also not of an advanced maternal age.) and the frozen DS (we will not know the official numbers until the day of the insemination).  Both of these factors lower my risk of multiples just a bit.  So I did what any other person would do in this situation and I asked the RE, "What would you do?"  So ... after what seemed like hours (it was actually only a couple of minutes) we have decided to proceed with the IUI.  I had to make an immediate decision because unfortunately there is no stop button for ovulation.  That would be nice.  I would at least like a pause button of some sort.  So the nurse gave me my HCG trigger shot before I left (my ass felt it big time) that will cause me to ovulate in the next 24 to 36 hours and I am scheduled for the IUI tomorrow morning.  Yikes!

I really feel as if we have made the right decision to proceed.  I think I would have had more regrets in the long run had I thrown in the towel on this cycle.  I also saw the doctor in the hallway as I was leaving and he reassured me that I had made a good decision.  This helped a bit.  Kara and I knew that there would be a lot of unknowns in this grand adventure but I never knew how heavily these unknowns would weigh on my mind.

Then again ... two weeks from now I could start my period and these fears will be long forgotten.  Oh the crazy world we live in.

Mary