the word of the day is ...

OVERWHELMED!

We had our initial meeting with the RE today and I left the office with my head spinning.  All I can say is thank goodness I  have Kara by my side.  She did an amazing job taking notes during the appointment.  I don't think I was fully processing all that was being discussed so it was super nice to be able to come home and just look at the notes.  Overall, we had a good experience with the visit today and I feel comfortable allowing this doctor to guide us through this process.  I think our greatest stress at the moment is the financial aspect associated with trying to get pregnant.  Because we will be paying totally out of pocket for all the procedures (in the words of my fine insurance representative ... "I think we need to review the definition of infertility." ... JERK) our "doctor tab" will get very large in a short amount of time.  The good news is is that Kara and I have been setting aside money for this process for some time.  However, there are just so many unknowns that  make it difficult.  I mean the financial aspect becomes irrelevant if we are one of the lucky ones that get pregnant on the first shot.  But what happens if we have to cycle three, four, or five times?  This is where I get nervous.  We are trying to be as proactive as possible in  hopes that it will save us some money in the long run.  So, keeping the proactive aspect in mind, today's visit with the RE included a bunch of  b/w (bloodwork).  This is an accomplishment in itself as I am not the best patient when it comes to giving blood.  I just don't like people taking what belongs to me.  However, 7 vials of blood later I was still standing (or actually sitting) on my feet.  The RE also did an u/s (ultrasound) to check my ovaries and uterus.  The u/s results were normal (with the exception of a small fibroid in my uterus that is nothing to worry about).  Then next week I am scheduled for a hysterosalpingogram (HSG) that will check to make certain that my uterus, ovaries, and fallopian tubes are all in good shape.  I have heard from a little fly on the wall that this test is not exactly fun.  However, it is actually a requirement to have done before the insemination process begins.  Plus, it is better to know now if one of my fallopian tubes is blocked, then to find out after we have cycled several times and wasted thousands of dollars on sperm.  Once we get all these tests done we will be in the clear to start our journey.  So in the meantime, I am going to do my best to take the advice of my lovely lady.  This process is a marathon and not a sprint.  I cannot stress myself out worrying about something that is going to happen in the future.  I can only focus on each moment.  I have to remember to embrace each struggle.  The end result would be the ultimate gift. 

Mary