a weekend of firsts

We made the decision to put together some new "toys" this weekend.  And the boys had a blast!  We bought the Fisher Price Rainforest Jumperoo and the Evenflo Splash Mega Exersaucer was given to us as a gift.  The big hit is the jumperoo!  The boys are a bit too small to do any actual jumping at the moment.  But both love to hangout and watch the television in the jumperoo.  Yes.  The boys watch television.  I don't believe at this point in time the television is any different than the lights on a playmat.  They just love to watch the movement and the colors.  Yesterday we were watching preseason football and Jakob was enamored by the action for a really long time.  I knew he was getting tired because he kept rubbing his eyes and yawning but every time I tried to take him out of the jumperoo and put him down to take a nap he would cry and cry. We put a pillow under their feet and every once in a while they will get the bouncing action down.  I don't think they know they are making the jumperoo move with their feet but they love when it goes up and down. There is also a rattle on the jumperoo that the boys can spin and both boys loved doing that yesterday.  I really think they are getting close to grabbing object.

Here is a picture of Alex checking out the new jumperoo.

And here is a picture of Jakob checking out the new exersaucer.

They are too cute!! Right??

We also took the boys out to a sit-down restaurant for the first time!  I was a bit nervous.  We took them to breakfast at the Cracker Barrel.  Kara and I are huge breakfast fans and we have missed our typical weekend breakfast out.  And actually we had not eaten breakfast together in a restaurant since before I went on bedrest!!  Yikes.  That was over 5 months ago!  So we hit up Cracker Barrel ... The boys did good.  They started to get fussy in their car seats simply because they wanted to be able to see the action.  We gave them a bottle at the restaurant and held them for a bit too.  I think Kara got the raw end of the deal though because she was responsible for Jakob who got fussy right when our food arrived.  Otherwise they did good.  We did get asked, "Who do they belong to?" for the first time at the restaurant.  I was paying the bill at the time so I did not hear this question come from a complete stranger (which still baffles me that strangers ask such questions).  I guess Kara responded to the question with, "They are hers." So it wasn't exactly as we had planned our response to such a question to be.  However, as Kara told me afterwards, "We have to pick and chose our battles." and she is 100% right in this situation.  The boys are not old enough to process her response to the question.  Plus we were eating breakfast in a not so "open" part of town.  So all things considered I'm okay with the response at the moment.  I always laugh though because I'm sure the stranger then looked over at me and suddenly felt sorry for "The girl with no wedding ring on that looks like she is 12 years old and raising two newborn twins on her own!"

Mary

a few photos

We went to Creekside Gahanna last night and took a little walk during "fussy time".  The boys love to be in their carriers.  They are getting bigger and soon should be able to face forward.  This will help because they love to look around at all the people.  

Here is Kara and Jakob ...

And me with Alex ...

You can tell Alex is a bit shorter.  His view consists of absolutely nothing!!  This probably explains why he promptly fell asleep.

Here is a picture of Jakob during naptime yesterday ...

And another picture of Alex during the same naptime.  We have reintroduced the pacifier to Alex.  It actually seems to be helping calm him down a bit.

And now for the biggest news of the week ... The boys slept through the night at exactly 14 weeks old.  I could not believe it.  We put the boys to bed at 9:30pm and they slept until 6:00am.  I woke-up in a panic.  I jolted Kara awake and I was like, "Did you feed the boys?"  She was completely confused and replied, "I don't remember.  Are the bottles still on the dresser?" It was amazing!!  Let's see if it happens again ...

Mary

some thoughts on religion

I grew up in the Catholic church.  And to be honest I never had a good experience with organized religion.  Many of my earliest memories are around my experiences in a Catholic school.  And unfortunately I didn't have the best experience.  So many of my memories are downright frightening.  I think a lot of it had to do with being a very shy kid.  And to be honest I think the religious personnel affiliated with our church just plain scared the daylights out of me.  I was taught from a young age about consequences that will result from inappropriate behavior.  Basically I was taught that "x" behaviors would ensure me a place in heaven while "y" behaviors would ensure me a place in hell.  And there was very little wiggle room in between.  This message never came from my parents.  Of course my parents taught us kids about consequences but never in terms of our relationship with God or our ability to get to heaven.  My parents instead taught us about the power of forgiveness and the importance of unconditional love.  The other messages instead came from the teachers at the local Catholic school and it came from the priests at the church with which we were affiliated.  Needless to say I became an extremely conflicted teenager and young adult.  A lot of my struggles with my sexuality came as a result of my religious beliefs.  I did everything I could to confirm to society norms.  I truly believed that in the long run it would be better to be "unhappy" and in a straight relationship than it would be to be "happy" and in a same sex relationship.  My reason for doing so was because I was terrified of disappointing God (and my parents but that is a whole other story).  I actually distanced myself from the Catholic church once I entered college.  I wanted nothing to do with it.  In fact, I distanced myself from a lot of other things while I was in college.  This included my family and my friends.  I instead focused on my education.  But in the long run I was so unhappy during college.  I actually started to suffer from extreme anxiety.  I couldn't be around anyone without being terrified.  I would hide in the corner of the library for the entire day.  I would avoid eye contact.  I would be sick with worry anytime I had to present to a classroom.  I couldn't even pick up the phone and dial a phone number.  I even got anxiety when I was walking on campus and I had to say "Thank You" to the person holding open the door for me.  I felt like everyone could see straight through me.  I was a mess.  And things continued to get worse until I graduated college and started my first "job" post graduation.  I decided to delay entering the "real world" and I instead volunteered for two years in an Americorps program.  And guess what happened ... I fell in love.  And instead of running away from it I decided it was high time to start living my life and embracing my whole self.  I believe we are all children of God.  I am a child of God.  This is the way I was born.  I made the decision that as long as I lived my life in such a way that should I come face to face with God I would be able to comfortably account for all my actions then I was living life as God intended me to do so.  And I have never looked back to being fearful of the afterlife.  But at the same time I have never returned to the church.  I still connect strongly to many of the beliefs of the Catholic church.  I get a lot from the tradition and ceremony that surrounds the Catholic faith.  However, I cannot be a member of a church nor can I raise my children in a church that does not accept the way in which we live our life as a family.  I want the boys to have a relationship with God.  I do not know where I would be had I never built a relationship with God.  I find myself in conversation with God during many points of any given day.  I believe I have a very strong relationship with God.  But I am struggling with how to introduce God to the boys.  I would love for the boys to be able to build a church family.  I would love for the boys to grow up understanding the importance of unconditional love and the importance in the ability to forgive.  But I'm not sure I can do this without introducing the boys to organized religion.  So where does this leave us?  I think Kara and I need to find a church while the boys are still young.  We are blessed to live in a fairly liberal community and as such I think we have found a church to try out that would be welcoming to our family.  But to be honest I am terrified of restarting my journey with organized religion.  I am terrified of reverting back to the feelings I had as a young adult.  My hope is that if we try out a church while the boys are young then should we have a bad experience the boys would be to young to remember it.  But should we have a wonderful experience then the boys will only remember always being part of the church.  So we shall see.  Now Kara and I just have to be brave enough to move forward on this journey.

Mary

yummy??

Okay.  Let's talk about breast milk.  More specifically ... let's talk about the taste of breast milk vs. the taste of formula.

So you might be thinking to yourself ... Mary, how can we talk about the taste of formula vs. the taste of breast milk if we have never tasted either one?  (cue a long silent pause)  (cue birds chirping)  Well loyal readers I have tasted both my breast milk and formula.  It might actually surprise you that I taste my breast milk on a regular basis.  I also, as a mother, pull boogers from my kid's nose.   And I get peed and pooped on on a regular basis.  Did I just make you scrunch up your nose a bit??  Okay.  I am getting a bit off topic.  Yes.  I taste my breast milk.  It's not like I am chugging down a few ounces at a time.  I usually just stick my finger in the milk to taste it.  I'm going to taste whatever I feed my kid.  I mean we test the temperature of bath water before we stick in our kid.  So why wouldn't I taste what I am going to feed my kid?  I will probably also taste all of their foods.  So here is what I have learned ... A baby must have zero taste buds OR because a baby has not been exposed to different tastes it is impossible for a baby to know what tastes "good" and what tastes "bad".  I guess this would be evidence in support of the theory that we use too many sweeteners and artificial flavors in our foods.  So formula ... Yuck!  Gross!  To be honest I can't really explain the flavor of formula.  Perhaps you could equate it to chalk?  It's just not good.  Plain and simple.  No further explanation needed in this case.  And then we move onto breast milk.  The taste of breast milk is not so simple to sum up in a single word description.  The taste is always different to a certain extent based upon several factors that include (1) what I have eaten and (2) the freshness of the breast milk and (3) the temperature of the milk.  We try to give the boys fresh breast milk as often as possible because fresh breast milk is the most nutritious.  And fresh breast milk tastes the best.  It really just tastes like regular cow's milk except for the sweetness factor.  It is super sweet.  The breast milk out of the fridge tastes about the same but it does lose some of its sweetness over time. But frozen breast milk .... Yuck! Gross! Blah!  Why so gross?  Here is what I have learned about breast milk.  There is an enzyme in breast milk called lipase.  It helps to break down the fats in breast milk.  There are some mothers that produce an excess of lipase.  Guess what?  That would be me.  So why is this a problem you might be asking ... the older the breast milk the more disgusting it tastes.  What does it taste like?  Soap.  Yep.  Soap.  But even though the milk tastes really bad it is still okay for the boys to drink.  We have been rotating some of my freezer stash and I decided to taste the thawed milk the first day I was giving it to the boys.  Yeah.  I almost threw-up.  I seriously felt like my mother had washed my mouth out with soap.  Which she probably needs to do because I do have the mouth of a sailor and even though I am trying not to cuss around the boys it is difficult.  It would be easier to give up candy.... sorry off topic again.  I had to grab some potato chips that were on the counter and shove them into my mouth just to get the taste out of my mouth.  I thought that there was no way in the world that the boys would drink this milk.  I was crushed.  I thought I was about to lose my entire freezer stash (only about 350oz but still a good amount)  But they did drink it.  They didn't even pause to say, "Hey Mom!  What the heck are you feeding us?"  The only bad part ... I swear the boys smell like the soapy breast milk.  I snuggle up with them in the evening and I smell it spilling out of their pores.  Yuck!  So what is the point to this rambling ... Not much really.  Except that I will never be drinking thawed breast milk or formula anytime soon.

Mary       

our favorite things (0-3 months)

I thought I would document some of our favorite things from the first three months of the boys life.  

1. Rock 'n Play Sleeper - We actually have three of the Rock 'n Play Sleepers.  We received two Rock 'n Play Sleepers as a gift and then a friend let us borrow another Rock 'n Play Sleeper to make it easier on us.  We absolutely love these things!!  If I would have had extra cash around the house we would have bought a fourth Rock 'n Play Sleeper for the house.  They are easy enough to fold up and move around the house but it makes it so much nicer to just have to move a baby between the bedroom and living room instead of a baby and a Rock 'n Play Sleeper.  We used these continuously at night and during the day during the first two months of the boys life.  We have just gotten ride of the Rock 'n Play sleeper in the living room.  We now just have the two upstairs in the bedroom that the boys sleep in at night.  I am dreading the transition for the Rock 'n Play Sleepers to the cribs.  I also recommend the Rock 'n Play sleepers if you have a baby dealing with reflux issues.

2. Boppy - These are a must have for any twin momma!!  We have used our boppy pillows since the boys turned about one month old.  We own two boppy pillows.  These are essential for feeding two babies at one time.  The boys also like to use these to take little cat naps in during the day.  They are super soft and mold around the boys like perfect.  We even have it down pat now where we can lay the boys in the boppy pillows and support the bottles with our legs.  Got that right!!  We can feed two babies and use the remote control all at the same time.  I still look forward to the day when the boys can hold their own bottles!

3. Bumbo Baby Seat - Kara is obsessed with the Bumbo baby seats.  We have two of these.  And they are starting to grow on me.  Our boys had excellent head control from an early age.  And these have come in handy for sitting Jakob straight up after his bottles to help with any reflux issues.  The boys love to sit in them.  Of course because they are still a bit young there are limited for the amount of time they can actually stand to sit in the Bumbo.  However, I imagine these will be great when the boys are starting to eat some finger foods.  It will be a nice alternative to the high chairs.  We started putting the boys in the Bumbo seat at about 2.5 months.

4. Medela Pump in Style Advanced Breast Pump - What can I say?  This was by far the best baby shower gift.  I never opened the breast pump until after the boys were born because I wasn't even for certain that I would need it.  The boys are now 3 months old and I have used this breast pump over 600 times!!!  It is easy enough to pack up and take with me on the go.  There are times that I would like to be mobile when I pump but I know that the suction power that comes with this breast pump is almost equivalent to the hospital grade pump that I used quite a bit while the boys were in the NICU.  I am hoping this breast pump has a lot more life left in it!

5. Miracle Blanket - We received a miracle blanket from a friend.  It was a lifesaver when Jakob was dealing with his severe reflux issues.  We initially used receiving blankets to swaddle the boys when they got home from the hospital.  But of course they quickly outgrew the receiving blankets.  Plus it was super easy for the boys to kick out of the receiving blankets.  We decided to try this blanket one day and WHOA!! we never turned to another swaddle blanket for Jakob.  It snuggled Jakob nice and tight and it was impossible for him to kick out of it.  The boys are no longer swaddled at night but we did use this blanket with Jakob for the first two months of his life.

6. You Tube - We love free fun!!  This is a video of black and white images set to music.  We would lay Jakob on a blanket and prop up the iPad and the video would not only entertain him for minutes on end it would also put him to sleep.  I would use this with Jakob on the rare occasions that Alex was fussy and needed my attention in the evening.  I actually have video of both boys watching the video on two separate iPads.  Can we say spoiled much??  We used this video until the boys were about two months old.  They now prefer color images to black and white images plus they have sadly discovered the television.  Now we just pop in a video to entertain them for a few minutes.  

7. Dr. Brown's Bottles - I have a love / hate relationship with these bottles.  We struggled to find a bottle that worked for Jakob and eventually these bottles won out.  Both boys use these bottles and I absolutely love them for reducing the amount of air the boys swallow while drinking their milk.  We actually have occasions where the boys don't burp after eating I think due in part to the bottles.  However ... The boys are taking 10 bottles a day!  This means we are cleaning bottles all the time and unfortunately the Dr. Bown's bottles have 6 pieces to them which means we are cleaning 120 pieces a day!  That's the not so cool part.  And right now we clean bottles by hand because we don't have enough bottles to run the dishwasher.  Did I mention our water bill has increased a bit?  Good thing I don't have time to shower anymore.

8. Boon Grass Countertop Drying Rack - This goes hand and hand with the above item.  We clean a lot of bottles and these drying racks are the best!  I had only registered for one drying rack and a fellow twin momma immediately told me to buy more than one of these drying racks.  I looked at her like she was crazy.  But it is sadly true.  Most of the time these drying racks are filled to the brim with bottle parts.  In fact, we could easily use a third drying rack if we had more counter space.  These drying racks are great because they in themselves are also easy to clean.

9. Fisher Price Rainforest Swing - We are borrowing this swing from a friend.  The reason I love it is because it can be plugged into the wall.  No one ever told me that I would have to purchase stock in a battery company after the boys were born.  We need batteries for everything!  This swing can be run without batteries and with the amount of time the boys spend in the swing I am very glad we aren't depending on batteries to keep it running.  I also like that the swing can either be used moving forward and backwards or side to side.  Plus the seat itself is adjustable.  We recently moved the swing around in our living room and it is now positioned so the boys can look our the window when the use it.  They absolutely love this!

10. Gerber Side Snap T-Shirts - The boys lived in these t-shirts for the first two months of their life!  I know many people don't like the t-shirts but because we swaddled the boys all the time and it is summertime (in which our temperature was in the 90's most days) we usually just put the boys in a diaper and a t-shirt.  Plus it made changing diapers every couple of hours in the beginning a breeze.  We could just unwrap the boys at night and change a diaper without having to undo a sleeper.  The boys are now in sleepers but we commonly dress them in just a t-shirt and diaper if we are not planning on going anywhere during the day.  These are also great to shove in the diaper bag in case an outfit gets ruined while we are out and about for the day.

11. Infantino Swift Classic Carrier - We would be lost without these carriers!  The best part is the cost.  We used a Moby in the beginning when the boys were on the small size but I found it difficult to deal with a fussy baby and try to wrap the Moby by myself.  We use these carriers instead of the stroller when we are out shopping.  It frees up our hands and it allows us to go off in separate directions if we need to do so.  I also think the carriers draw less attention to the "twin spectacle" than a big double stroller.  I'm sure the quality of a more expensive carrier would be great but with two boys we cannot justify the cost of an expensive carrier.  We also use these in the house if one of the boys is fussy.  They love to do chores with us!

I think that is all for now.  I might add another item if I think about it.  I think I might also do a "What not to buy list!" too.

Mary

let's talk about sleep

I'm going to admit it.  I'm sleep deprived.  I know that must come as a surprise to all my loyal readers.  The boys will be three months old this weekend and I for one am getting a bit tired of everyone asking me if the boys are sleeping through the night.  Please introduce me to the three month old preemie who is sleeping through the night.  I think the boys are absolutely wonderful sleepers (I've just said that out loud so tonight will probably be a nightmare.).  We go upstairs and do bath time at 7:30pm (a bit earlier if we are in meltdown mode) and then the boys are given their 8:00pm bottle and a story and I put them in their Rock N Plays to go to "sleep".  The sleep part is often a bit elusive at this point.  But the boys never get fussy in their Rock N Plays.  Most of the time they like to stare at the ceiling fan.  I sit around for a few minutes to make certain their is no drama and then I will sit up in the bedroom with the boys and pump around 9:00pm.  I am actually getting to a point where I should start to pump downstairs away from the boys but I still struggle with leaving them alone if either of them are awake.  Plus I can usually sit next to the baby that is being fussy and rock the Rock N Play back and forth while I pump.  I usually take a shower after pumping (by this time both boys are asleep) and then the boys get a diaper change and one more bottle at 10:00pm.  I am usually asleep by 10:30pm.  If the boys are fussy Kara will stay up with them when she gets home from work.  I get up at 1:30am to pump.  This is usually my longest pumping session of the day (ironic because it occurs in the middle of the night).  I usually pump for an hour.  Now here is my dilemma ...

I mentioned I am sleep deprived.  I am getting five hours of sleep a night.  I sleep from about 10:30pm - 1:30am and then from 3:00am - 5:00am.  Enough?  Yes.  Ideal?  No.  The problem is I tend to get a bit exhausted by the end of the week.  They boys are still taking a bottle once during the night.  Their stomachs just aren't big enough to take more than 3oz at a time.  If we try to over 3oz we tend to get a lot of spit-up.  And because the boys are eating about 29oz a day this means we do a lot of feedings.  We now feed the boys every two hours during the day.  Fun!  They will either take the middle of the night bottle before I pump at 1:30am (if they are fussy) or we will wake them up to take it after I am done pumping at 2:30am (yes it takes me an hour to pump in the middle of the night).  The other night Kara offered to do the middle of the night feeding while I pump.  I am all for this in terms of getting more sleep (about an extra 30 minutes) but it is killing me to not be part of the middle of the night feeding.  I already feel as if I don't get to spend much time with the boys.  I get home from work at 4:30pm and the boys are in their Rock N Plays around 8:00pm.  And this includes one pumping session (a minimum of 30 minutes).  Plus Kara does the early morning feeding (around 6:00am) alone while I am downstairs pumping.  Notice a pattern??  I think I am just in a bit of a funk because I feel as if I am missing out on so many moments with the boys.  I also realize that being sleep deprived is not  helping matters.  It makes me a stressed out momma and it does not help my milk supply.  To be honest ... I would have probably thrown in the towel on pumping if we did not have issues with Jakob.  But I absolutely refuse to give Jakob formula.  This means pumping will be a part of my life for at least a year.  And then I can't get rid of the middle of the night session because I get a ton of milk (about 14oz) during that pumping session.  Plus I would wake-up in agony anyhow if I tried to sleep through it.  So what is my point in writing this?  Nothing really.  I just needed to vent.  Don't get me wrong ... I feel so extremely blessed at the moment.  I am able to provide enough breastmilk for both boys.  It just comes at the cost of sleep and time with the boys.

So if you got this far you deserve a cookie.  Or how about just a super cute picture of Mr. Jakob?

Kara caught this picture the other day.  Jakob was falling asleep in his bumbo.  Each time his head would fall down because he would fall asleep he would jerk it back up and just be laughing up a storm.

Plus don't you just love the off the shoulder onesie look??  The boys will fit properly into 0-3 month clothing at some point.

Mary

let's talk about food

I have never been so hungry in my entire life!  I knew when I started pumping for the boys that I would need to consume extra calories.  But I figured the extra calorie intake would be similar to the calories I needed when I was pregnant.  Wrong!  I'm not certain how accurate the statistic (because Google is never wrong) but I believe for every ounce of milk I pump I burn 20 calories.  This means on average I need to consume an extra 1200 calories a day to just break even.  That alone is similar to my total daily calorie intake prior to getting pregnant.  I am down to my pre-pregnancy weight and as a result I really don't want to lose any additional weight.  I'm trying my best to maintain my current weight.  I also notice that if I reduce my calorie requirements during any given day my milk supply drops.  This is crazy.  And believe me ... I don't just eat to eat.  I eat because I am starving.  So I thought it would be fun to document for historical purposes what I ate yesterday.  Prepare to be shocked ...

breakfast nuts to go (2 packets)
nutri-grain bar
oatmeal in a jar (includes oatmeal, skim milk, greek yogurt, banana, chia seeds)
a bag of craisins (yes I ate an entire bag thank goodness these have been on sale for 3 for $5)
a 1/2 of a turkey sandwich
string cheese
1/2 a sleeve of graham crackers
two major milk making cookies
about 1 cup of a casserole dish (rice, black beans, corn, chicken, jalapenos)
two no bake cookie bars
about a 1/4 cup of honey roasted peanuts
about 1/2 cup of macaroni salad
about 1/4 cup of ham salad

Yep.  I ate it all.  Every single bite!  And I could be missing something ...

Mary

always an adventure

The days continue to pass at warp speed.  I half expect to wake-up one morning and find the boys grabbing the car keys to head off to school.

Kara and I are getting much better about venturing out of the house with the boys.  We absolutely dislike using the double stroller for anything other than a walk around the block.  And it is getting more and more difficult to carry the car seats around as the boys gain weight.  Because of these dislikes Kara and I were subconsciously avoiding taking the the boys anywhere with us.  Well we decided it was high time that we get our act together.  We can't hide in the house forever.  So we have started to take mini trips with the boys to run errands around town and thanks to these gems (click me you know you want to) our trips have taken a turn for the better.  We all went grocery shopping on Saturday and life actually felt somewhat normal.  Of course we still get stared at a lot.  There was one rather obnoxious woman at the grocery store this weekend that loudly asked (from 10 feet away) "Are those twins?"  My response (though probably not loud enough for the woman to hear me) "No.  They are triplets."  We have learned that avoiding eye contact with everyone takes care of most of the problems.  Though people still point and whisper around us.  Do they think we can't hear them??  I know that people are fascinated with twins.  I have first hand experience considering I am a twin.  But I really had no idea how fascinated people are with newborn twins.  And then we get even more confused looks when we tell people the boys are 12 weeks old.  I swear the checkout lady at a local big box baby store thought I didn't even know the age of my own kids.  I always quickly have to add, "They are preemies." in order to explain their small size.  However, as much as I like to complain about obnoxious people, there is a small part of me that loves to show off the boys.  We are crazy in love with them so of course we like to let other people know how much they mean to us.  We did have a wonderful cashier at a local Whole Foods a couple of weeks ago.  Kara and I were each holding a boy in the carrier and when we approached the checkout counter the cashier immediately congratulated us both and began to ask us both questions about life with newborn twin boys.  It was nice to have a complete stranger immediately understand that we were a family unit and in turn be so excited about it.  I have always said that I would rather people ask questions than just make assumptions about our family.

Now for a token cute picture of the boys ...  This was just after a 6am morning feeding.  And you wonder why it is so hard for me to go to work in the morning?  I just need to show my boss this picture in order to explain why I am late every day.

So we have had some fussy boys on our hands the last couple of days.  Jakob had a few bad evenings last week which I attributed to reflux issues based on his behaviour and so I made the decision to call the pediatrician over the weekend to inquire about increasing his dosage of Zantac.  We have had Jakob on the same dose since he was a newborn weighing in at a whooping 5 lbs and because he has now almost doubled his weight I figured it was time to increase his dosage.  The pediatrician suggested a dosage of 1 mL 2x per day (increased from 0.7 mL 2x per day).  It already seems to be helping his comfort level.  Now Mr. Alex on the other hand ... He suddenly wants to be held ALL the time!  This would be fine if he was an only child but when you are taking care of two babies at one time by yourself (as is often the case with Kara and me) there is limited cuddle time.  Alex will cry (with real tears) until you pick him up.  And then he works himself up so much that he refuses to take a nap.  And then come evening time he is extra fussy because he is so tired.  Yesterday afternoon Kara and I were noticing that Alex was getting fussy so I decided to take him upstairs into our bedroom to take a nap.  We both got into bed and I let Alex lay on my chest.  I got to sing to him and he was out cold in minutes.  We both took an hour nap together and I must say it is a moment I will treasure for a very long time.  I don't often get that cuddle time alone with one of the boys and I truly appreciated each moment of it.  I love these boys more than words can adequately express.  I just sometimes get sad when I realize how fast they are growing up and how I am limited in the amount of one on one time I can spend with them.

Mary